- first day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks.
- end of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.
just because i hate me doesnt mean you can
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now